Tuesday, September 30, 2008

You Wouldn't, Would You?

Suppose you, the reader, were to plan on submitting poems to a literary magazine. You surely wouldn't do any of these things:

1) Fail to read the submission guidelines.
2) Having read the guidelines, fail to follow them.
3) Fail to check the current postage rates, so that your submission arrives marked "insufficient postage" with penalty postage for the recipient to pay.
4) Fail to send a stamped addressed envelope when requested.
5) If submitting from overseas, fail to send the requested IRC (International Reply Coupon), and instead, send a stamped addressed envelope using stamps of your own country. (Strangely, the New Zealand Post Office takes exception to Australian or American stamps on envelopes posted here. Or perhaps not so strangely!)
6) Fail not only to enclose a stamped addressed envelope but also fail to put any identifying marks, ie name and address, on your submission.
7) Submit your "inspirational" true life story to a magazine that clearly publishes only fiction and poetry.
8) Submit your work by e-mail to the magazine administrator (not the editor whose e-mail has not been advertised), when the guidelines clearly say no e-mail submissions.
9) Follow all the guidelines, have your work accepted and published, move house after your work has been accepted and fail to inform the magazine. And then complain when you don't receive your payment or contributor's copies.

You wouldn't, would you? So who are all these people who do all of the above? (Yes, I'm a bit frustrated at the moment).


Anonymous said...

But you forgot the 'never forget to add a few nude pictures of your deluded girlfriend to your submission rule' - I used to work for Chapman 'Scotlands Quality Lierary Magazine' and eventually all our correspondence went to the National Library of Scotland. So some where the nude pictures are being carefully archived...

Mary awgrads

January said...

Everyone makes mistakes, but if people can't follow basic guidelines, then they get what they deserve.

Catherine said...

I've been known to forget the sae myself - but I've noticed that it's the really bad writers who make the most mistakes, while the good ones tend to be very professional with their submissions

Anonymous said...

I agree Edwin Morgan NEVER failed to send an SAE!