Today I decided to combine the daily prompt "blaze" with the weekly prompt which was to write a villanelle - OK, the daily prompt is for Wednesday but it is Thursday already in this neck of the woods.
When I try and rhyme, it tends to come out not too serious. And I am just about poemed out with NaPoWriMo, so I decided to stick my tongue firmly in my cheek and have some fun. Jessica suggested that villanelles tend to be about obsession. This one certainly is - and the narrator is definitely not me, I'm not that shallow (I hope!). I've been a bit free with the rules about repeating whole lines, and instead have varied them a bit while keeping the ending of the repeating lines the same.
A Villanelle
I don't ask much, just set my heart ablaze
send flowers, chocolates, tell me you'll be mine
for all of time, oh, shower me with praise
My heart beat faster when I caught your gaze
Your rugged looks, your nose so aquiline,
your sculptured muscles set my heart ablaze.
I've waited by the phone for days and days
I think, although I've lost my sense of time
I long to hear your voice, your showers of praise
I lie about the house in fevered haze
can't eat or sleep, can only write bad rhymes
Surely you know you've set my heart ablaze
She's wrong for you in oh so many ways
You have my number, leave her now, be mine
for what you said I'm sure was full of praise
I'm waiting for the phone to ring, the door to chime
I know you want me, tell me you'll be mine
for all of time, oh shower me with praise
Is it too much to set my heart ablaze?
********
For more villanelles and other poems, visit Poetry Thursday
Thursday, April 26, 2007
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13 comments:
Hah! It's like a poetic Bridget Jones' Diary! Spiffy!
(I think you might've meant "lie" in the fourth verse though maybe?)
oo funny!
I like it - appeals to the romantic old soul in me.
Sjoe it's like we all have kinda did that...waiting for the call, can't think, can't sleep, can't eat but we all know that he will never call;)
good job:)
Those mild changes enhance the emotions.
The romantic me likes it!
this works well because you've found a topic ideally suited to the villanelle form and you've used the element of repitition really well.
Fun idea to be so wonderfully cheeky. Well done.
I agree with crafty green poet- your subject matter fitted this form so well!
Well done, indeed!
It made me smile. The "I think" in the third stanza, 2nd line was a little clunky. Other than that--fun poem.
Villanelles are usually so serious, so that makes this one extra fun. Good stuff!
You did a wonderful job and kept it light. Well done!
What a riot! THis is perfect! :D
I think you had the right idea with this villanelle, considering how much poetry you've written this month. Nice job!
An interesting take on the form. It really is so much more readable with some creative interpretation. Nice job.
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