This week's prompt at Poetry Thursday is change.
I'm a little distracted this week by things I can't post about yet. I find myself spending my time on physical work in the garden and the like and not thinking too much. I have written some lines on this week's topic at Poetry Thursday - I'm not sure if it's a poem yet. I decided to post anyway, and to think of this as my writing notebook, and the lines as a very rough first draft.
Somehow I hate to miss Poetry Thursday.
The More it Changes...
With each breath out
I scatter myself to the wind.
The child who shares my name
shares little of my substance.
Each minute a slow burning of molecules,
each inhalation a replacement. Why then do I imagine
that I am her, and she is me? I am my own observer.
I change along with what I observe
and feel myself the same. Every minute I remake
even my memories. Even as they die, my neurons
play Chinese whispers with their successors.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
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21 comments:
This is a really interesting poem. I especially like the lines: "Each minute a slow burning of molecules/
each inhalation a replacement." Kind of scary to think of our bodies that way, but totally true. The ending is really intriguing as well.
I'm breathing with you, observing with you, feeling the changes. It's great.
My poem today is about women's fashion change.
Wow! This was great. Very existential! I love the line: "Every minute I remake even my memories." Rilke comes to mind when I listen to these words. And then by contrast, you have John Mayer “And all my memories have escaped me, or confused themselves with dreams.” Thanks so much for this!
ahhhh...
that last line,
that last line.
wow.
There is something so melancholy-ish about this... the lines about "The child who shares my name
shares little of my substance." really grabbed me...
I think it's perfect, Catherine...
Oh wow. If these are just jotted down - I can hardly believe it. My only complaint is that they leave me wanting more, wanting to know more, wanting to know everything.
What a delicious little poem - so good!
very powerful indeed. I tried to pick my favorite line, but the whole makes it so potent. I am glad to be visiting again.
I see lots of great stuff here, especially "I am her, and she is me? I am my own observer." And you're just riffing? Nice!
I love this, the wondering and observing. " Chinese whispers" beautiful phrase.
A very strong first draft, then.
I think this is brilliant. Just exquisite. I could only hope for a first draft like this. (I don't think it's a first draft, though.)
The line "Every minute I remake
even my memories" blows me the f**c away, if I may say so.
An interesting blog. I especially like your 'local' stuff as I do think that one of the womders of blogging is getting insights into life/lives on the other side of the globe. Here from Michele's in Sussex, England.
Well Dana, you know I think the same about yours. My judgement is a bit hazy at the moment. too hazy to figure out if it's any good or not, though I'm glad people seem to think so. I'll be able to see it more clearly when I have less on my mind.
I answered your question "does it still fit" in my comments at my poem on shoulder pads.
I love the ideas here and that last line is just awesome.
A very unusaul perspective. And very original.
"Each minute a slow burning of molecules...."
Kind of visualising it.
gautami
Transposition.
Catherine, I just read this again today. I think it has a very seductive blend of mystery and fact. And you know I love science, so the language you use here is right up my alley. Do you like the piece today, having given it a fresh look?
Dana, I think I need to wait a bit before I try to edit it, especially since things are still a little crazy around here. If our group decides to go ahead with a new poetry book this year, I will have to take a fresh look at a whole bunch of poems and decide which to include and how much editing they need.
Even as they die, my neurons
play Chinese whispers with their successors. That is just perfection.
Hi, I enjoyed reading the various poems and comments. Could I also invite poet friends to my blogs:
http://rksingh.blogspot.com
http://profrksingh.blogspot.com
and seek their opinion on my haiku tanka and other poems.
R K Singh
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