For today's poem, I have managed to use the daily prompt "breathless", along with a line left by a Poetry Thursday participant, Megan for the weekly prompt ("but we're used to it"), and then for good measure, I added an ending that uses one of my favourite words, "meniscus".
I had planned to ignore the daily prompt in favour of doing the weekly prompt to use someone else's line, but when I saw Megan's line and started figuring out how to use it, I realised that "breathless" fitted right in. Thanks Megan!
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There isn't much romance here
but we're used to it. We have settled
into the packets of our lives,
space at the top showing how there used to be
more air. But the weight is the same.
I do his banking, fetch the drycleaning,
post his letters. He knows what to do
when a child wakes in the night
breathless and wheezing. You can't eat kisses.
We are practical people. We may not be sure
whether the glass is half full
or half empty, but we do know
how to read the water level
from the bottom of the meniscus.
Poetry, quilting and random comments on life, the universe and everything
This is excellent Catherine. The sadness of the acceptance of too ordinary lives.
ReplyDeleteI like this. Short, sweet and perfectly wrapped. Your sentences have been structured quite wonderfully which makes reading easy and interesting. Great subject matter too. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThe acceptance of the everyday, mundane existance has been worked very well in here.
ReplyDeleteSo many wonderful lines. The beginning and ending were wonderful but I really liked the idea of "packets of our lives" and "you can't eat kisses." Everything went together so well. Excellent job with the prompt.
ReplyDeleteI too love the word meniscus. I appreciate this poem a great deal.
ReplyDeleteMistie
Thanks for using my line. I'm fascinated by the way this sharing of lines connects disparate thoughts, but here's my favorite part: I currently have a torn meniscus in my left knee. Life is full of amazement. If that's not enough...your poem is good. It feels compact, but not crowded...something like a sturdy, not-so-tall tree...something like a solid, practical, functional relationship. So well done!
ReplyDeleteIfelt the sadness of this poem. I also used Megan's line as well as your line. the word "meniscus" is on my silly word list on my school blog. Love the way it sounds.
ReplyDeleteResignation and despair, the cousins to romance and love. Great job with the line and your poem.
ReplyDeleteThat's the secret...reading right the water level!
ReplyDeleteA thoughtful poem, Catherine; Thankyou.
There is a lingering sadness to this poem. The calm acceptance of the monotony of their lives is nicely portrayed.
ReplyDeleteCatherine:
ReplyDeleteI wanted to give you thanks for your line which I used for this week's prompt. I hope it's worthy.
Oh, I laughed at the last line, in a really good way, just the sheer audacity of that word "meniscus," after everyline above was so understated, ordinary, and fitting (which takes great discipline). The poem turns so smartly on that word, that exotic thing amid all the pragmaticism, suggesting a spirited poetry lives even there, even in the hum-drummy hum-drum.
Practical people don't write poems like this! Fine work!
ReplyDeleteRomance out of rationality - quite an achievement!
ReplyDeleteyou absolutely rocked this poem today! It's really well done, and I am totally smitten by it.
ReplyDeleteI eat kisses all the time..they are chocolate!!
ReplyDeleteall kidding aside, i liked the honesty and the sad comfort of this poem.
"space at the top showing how there used to be/ more air. But the weight is the same." is absolutely brilliant. wow.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully done. Bravo. This: "We have settled into the packets of our lives," is excellent.
ReplyDeleteMeniscus! My favorite word. I love the packets imagery. You are doing great with your NaPoWriMos!
ReplyDeleteDoes incorporating the daily and weekly prompts into one poem count as double dipping. I loved the packet reference, and your throwing in of yet another juicy word at the end.
ReplyDeleteYou can't eat kisses.
ReplyDeleteThat line makes the poem for me. It says it all. Wonderful turn of phrase.
Hits too close to home...Ouch.
ReplyDelete